“We first make our habits, then our habits make us.” – John Dryden

Tell me, what kind of man you would be if every day you dedicated some time and effort to self-cultivation? Improving your physique, image, grooming, glow, state of mind.

  • How strong and energetic your body would become?
  • How sharp would you be mentally?
  • How sexy and unforgettable your image would be?
  • How driven and confident you would feel?

The thing is, achieving all of the above is not rocket science. The reason we’re not playboy millionaires with perfect abs is not lack of the “know how”.

Really, whatever you’re set out to achieve, chances are someone already did it and wrote a book or made a course detailing every step you need to take.

And yet, year after year, we make those same dumb New Year’s resolutions just to break them as fast as we came up with them.

So how do we break this never ending cycle of mediocrity and complacency?

By implementing new habits and letting them then shape us into the men we strive to be.

This is why we have this 30 Day Challenge – to set in place habits and systems that will help us become so much more attractive. Both, on the outside and the inside.

If you started the challenge last week and completed the first week, I would like to start by saying GOOD JOB! Really. I have utmost respect for people who set out to do something and then stick to it, it’s such an admirable quality. And a rare one too.

That said, if you started the challenge but let life get in the way and stopped doing it somewhere down the line, it’s fine. Just continue where you left off. It’s not about how many times you get knocked down, it’s about getting back on track as many times as it takes to get the result.

And lastly, if you just found this article and have no idea what the hell is this 30 Day Challenge, you can learn everything you need to know here.

With this out of the way, let’s start Week Two!

Week 2 – Massive Changes

Objectives for the week:

  • Start meditating

  • Design your “I’m getting laid tonight” outfit

  • Get a haircut, if needed

  • Investigate your “manscaping”

  • Start tracking your workouts

  • Design a diet plan

Download the worksheet for Week Two

You can get it here. Just tick the box whenever you complete a specific task that day.

If you don’t know how to do some of the goals of the day (i.e. “Gratitude Routine”), see 30-Day Challenge To Become An Attractive Man Week 1.

Day 1

Focus: State Of Mind, Glow, Physique, Fashion

  1. Start the day with a tall glass of water. Drink another glass of water during lunch and in the evening. In week one we discussed the importance of hydration on our looks, especially glow (how good our skin and hair look). This week we’re increasing our water consumption throughout the day by adding another glass of water during lunch and in the evening. Just keep in mind that drinking water just before bedtime can spoil your sleep quality as you might find yourself awake and needing to go to the bathroom.
  2. Morning skincare routine.
  3. 5 Minute Gratitude Routine.
  4. 10 Minute Meditation practice. This is our second big background habit that will help us improve our state of mind. We want to become more relaxed, grounded and confident. That said, it’s not just about our state of mind, meditation can make us – literally and directly – more attractive men. See the details on meditation below.
  5. Work out. Track Your Progress. During week two, we’re still hitting the gym 3 times a week, but now that you are acclimated to your workout program, it’s important that we start tracking them. Assuming you’re doing a variation of a strength training workout, you should be able to increase the weights or reps (even if by a tiny bit), every workout early on. And from a personal experience, I know how easy it is to forget with what weights you were working last time “was it 7kg or 8kg? Did I do 8 or 10 reps?” When you’re starting out every workout is precious and you want to make the most out of your “newbie gains”. Either download any fitness app or, like me, just use any notes/memo app that’s built-in on your phone.
  6. Re-visit what we covered in Week One in terms of fashion/wardrobe and make sure you have all points covered. When it comes to fashion, our goal this week will be to design you the “I’m Getting Laid Tonight” look (don’t worry, I’ll explain later). But to do that, we need to make sure that you did the action steps from last week:
    1. You know how clothes should fit you and identified ill-fitting clothes in your wardrobe
    2. You know how to use clothes to make the most out of your current physique and height
    3. You got rid of the “cockblocks” in your wardrobe
    4. You know how to “sexify” your image
    5. You spent some time thinking about your ideal image

If you missed any of these steps, make sure to revisit them from Week 1 before moving forward.

  1. Count your calories for the day (approx.) As discussed in Week One, Day 7, we want to start tracking the calories you consume during the day. You don’t need to act on it right now, just track. Log what you eat/drink during the day and then in the evening spend ~15 minutes or so to calculate how many kcals, protein, fat, carbs you consumed. Google is your friend for this. We just need approximate numbers, so don’t stress over it.
  2. Still no porn.
  3. Good night’s sleep.

On Meditation

Women love chill guys… At least that’s what the data is showing. Well, to be exact, it’s not the laidback attitude that’s working as the aphrodisiac, it’s the low cortisol (stress hormone) levels in men that are so alluring to women. Especially when combined with high testosterone and we’re already doing the strength training and getting plenty of rest to help us with that.

There are several theories as to why this is the case, but for the scope of this challenge we don’t really care about the “Why”. Feel free to read up on it more. Personally, I found the topic to be quite fascinating.

Ok, so what does meditation has to do with it?

Well, among the tons of benefits of meditation, lowering your cortisol is one of them.

So how do we go about it?

There are many ways to meditate, some very simple, some quite elaborate. We’ll stick to the simple ones because they work very well.

  1. Turn off any outside distractions like music, TV, etc. You can meditate with outside noises but it’s a lot harder to do.
  2. Sit down comfortably. Whether to do the lotus pose or not is completely optional. Just make sure you’re comfortable and your back is straight. Don’t lie down or you risk falling asleep.
  3. Set the phone’s timer to 10 minutes.
  4. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.
  5. After that, stop trying to control your breath, just focus on it. Notice it. Feel it.
  6. Feel the air going in and out of your nostrils.
  7. Whenever you catch yourself drifting away, lost in thought, just re-focus on your breath.
  8. Don’t expect to stay thought-free the whole time. It’s not going to happen anytime soon. Don’t judge when you do find yourself thinking about what you’re going to have for lunch or what else you need to do today. Just re-focus on your breath and move on.
  9. Continue until the phone’s timer starts beeping.

You might feel more relaxed after you meditated. Personally, I feel like the world literally slows down for the next half an hour or so. But that’s just the short-term effect, the tip of the iceberg.

The real effects start taking place when you meditate consistently day after day. That’s when you realize that you’ve became a more relaxed, grounded and confident man. This is why we’re starting this habit early in the challenge and will continue doing it daily until the end.

Day 2

Focus: State Of Mind, Glow, Physique, Grooming

  1. Start the day with a tall glass of water. Have water at lunch and in the evening too.
  2. Morning skincare routine.
  3. 5 Minute Gratitude Routine.
  4. 10 Minute Meditation practice.
  5. Go for a walk (30 – 60 min).
  6. Get that haircut (optional). Assuming last week you scheduled to get a haircut, we’re dedicating some time in the week to actually do so. If it’s not on Day Two, that’s cool, just tick the box whenever you get it. I wanted to include it either way, to make sure we don’t miss anything.
  7. Learn to style your hair. Get any products you might be missing. Use this article for guidance (the comments section in the article has some great tips too). Getting a haircut is just part of the equation, being able to style your hair so you look your best every day is the goal. We need to make sure that we have any necessary products/skills to do so.
  8. Count your calories for the day (approx.)
  9. Still no porn.
  10. Good night’s sleep.

Day 3

Focus: State Of Mind, Glow, Physique, Grooming

  1. Start the day with a tall glass of water. Have water at lunch and in the evening too.
  2. Morning skincare routine.
  3. 5 Minute Gratitude Routine.
  4. 10 Minute Meditation practice.
  5. Work out. Track Your Progress.
  6. Count your calories for the day (approx.)
  7. Design Your “I’m Getting Laid Tonight” Outfit. See the details below for the “How To”. The goal here is that you should know exactly what pieces of clothing you still need to get. For the sake of this challenge, we’ll focus on a single outfit but you can replicate the process as many times as you want.
  8. Still no porn.
  9. Good night’s sleep.

Huh? “I’m Getting Laid Tonight” outfit?!

The origin of this silly name goes back to when I first started getting decent results with women. At the time I didn’t really understand why whatever I was doing was actually working, except that it was obvious that my results fluctuated based on how I dressed, how I presented myself.

So because I didn’t know any better, the way I tested my new outfits was very binary – do I get laid during the first few times I go out wearing that outfit or not?

Assuming that when I am going out the situation is good enough: there are available, attractive women, the logistics are not completely horrible, I’m feeling good, etc.

If yes, great! We have a potential winner.

If not, time to scrap it and re-design.

As ridiculous as it might sound to some of you, it worked. With practice, I got pretty good at it and could anticipate what feedback/results specific images would get me with certain crowds. Which pieces would get complimented and commented on, which wouldn’t.

In turn, soon enough most of my new outfits became “I’m Getting Laid Tonight” looks.

Anyway, when I created SSfJ and needed a term to explain what the hell are these outfits, specifically tailored to get the best romantic/sexual results, I started calling them “I’m getting laid tonight” looks because that’s what they do.

The “I’m Getting Laid Tonight” look, is an outfit, an image, specifically tailored to get certain results within certain crowds.

We tailor the look based on where we’ll be wearing it, the type of people that hang out there/will be there, and what kind of women we want to attract (and for what kind of relationship).

Your outfit, your image is a form of non-verbal communication. Very impactful one too. Based on the little details in your outfit, everyone that sees you instantly makes dozens of various assumptions about who you are, what you like, how you communicate, etc. Whether those assumptions are correct or not is irrelevant, because if you were to interact with that person, everything you say or do will be seen through the prism of those initial assumptions.

And even though it is possible to change that first impression, in most seduction situations, the interactions don’t last long enough to do so.

Ok, the question then is, how do we go about creating a look like that?

  • First, if you did the fashion action steps on Day 7, Week 1, you should have a rather clear understanding of what you want your image to communicate, how you want to be seen.
  • You want to look for that sweet spot in terms of what you want to communicate and what your type of women are looking for in a man.
  • Once you are clear with what qualities you want your image to communicate (found that sweet spot), it’s time to go online and look for inspiration. You can find plenty on Pinterest and Instragram.
  • As you go through the photos online, see if you can find an outfit that you think communicates the qualities you want. Pick one.
  • See if you need to make any adjustments to the outfit so that it looks flattering on you (based on what you learned in Day 4, Week 1).
  • Note what pieces you need to get to replicate that outfit.

For more ideas, check out deconstructed and explained Style Inspirations: 5 Men’s Winter Outfits that Turn Girls’ HeadsHow To Dress In SpringHow To Dress In College Part 2, No More Mr. Nice Guy Chasing Skirts, How To Look Badass (check the outfits, read the explanations, immerse yourself in the stories – that’s my best advice to help you understand how much more is hiding behind the way you dress).

I know that this is not very specific, but that’s because there are A LOT of nuances. I would recommend dedicating some free time to think about the topic and explore the resources I linked to.

To help guide you a bit, let me also add some defining qualities of a great “I’m Getting Laid Tonight” look:

  • It’s polarizing. Not everyone will love it and that’s great. Your outfit becomes a sort of screening tool that works automatically in the background.
  • It’s sexual. If your average nerdy friend doesn’t think it’s “maybe a little too much…” or “I could never wear that…” you’re not doing it right.
  • It’s impressive. The outfit should naturally stand out and you don’t want to end up looking like every other guy in a “going out shirt”. If you go out and see three other guys wearing something similar, it’s not an “I’m Getting Laid Tonight” look.
  • IT’S NOT THE SAME AS BEING WELLDRESSED! What most guys refer to as being well-dressed is getting some new clothes that fit and building an outfit that doesn’t completely suck. Being “well-dressed” is a fashion equivalent of going to the gym and just doing some random exercises, while using correct form. In contrast, tailoring your image, your outfits is an equivalent of deciding what physique you want and then specifically building your workouts and diet plan to reach that physique.

That said, it’s crucial that you cover the action steps in week one. We don’t want to end up with a “peacocky” clown look, but instead we’re looking for a stylish, sexy outfit. The difference between the two is how well you execute the fundamentals.

Lastly, if you want a more straight-forward, step-by-step approach or you’re interested in building a full sexy wardrobe instead of just one outfit, check out The Wow! Factor. It’s a massive course, but we were able to cover all the necessary ins and outs that simply cannot be covered in a single article.

Day 4

Focus: State Of Mind, Glow, Physique, Fashion

  1. Start the day with a tall glass of water. Have water at lunch and in the evening too.
  2. Morning skincare routine.
  3. 5 Minute Gratitude Routine.
  4. 10 Minute Meditation practice.
  5. Go for a walk (30 – 60 min).
  6. Calculate the caloric needs for your desired results. Working out regularly is great and plays a big role in making you more attractive. But the reality is, without adjustments in your diet we won’t be seeing the optimal results. That’s why for the last few days we practiced tracking what we consume throughout the day. So what we’ll do today is calculate how much we should consume, based on our goals. Use this article / calculator for guidance. Important: for now, approximate numbers are good enough, you can adjust them later when you see how your body responds. Also, keep in mind that with strength training, you want to eat more during workout days and less on your off days as explained in the article.
  7. Count your calories for the day (approx.)
  8. Still no porn.
  9. Good night’s sleep.

Eating healthy vs Counting macros

Tackling this topic feels like trying to defuse a bomb with my feet. Yes, feet. Because no matter what I say here, I am about to piss a lot of people off

I think part of the problem why so many people have trouble with dieting is the lack of general consensus and abundance of conflicting advice. For every expert claiming you’re supposed to do/eat one thing, there’s another one shouting how it’s all bullshit and how “new research shows…”. This cycle is never-ending.

After spending just a few hours reading up on the topic, it’s easy to get overwhelmed and say “fuck this shit… I’m ordering a large pizza!…”

What I will try to do, is paint an objective picture on the matter to the best of my abilities and make my arguments as for why I’m recommending a certain strategic approach to dieting for this challenge.

A case AGAINST healthy eating

No, I’m not going to say that eating healthy is bad and we should all resort to junk food. Not at all. What I am claiming is that when it comes to maximizing your physique, just eating healthy is not enough.

The most obvious argument here is that if you eat 5000+ kcals of “super healthy food” a day, while staying only moderately active, you will get fat.

On the other side of the spectrum, if you eat super healthy, but simply not enough, you will end up being skinny. No, not lean & muscular, just skinny.

Even worse, there’s little consensus on what “eating healthy” actually is and the answer will vary based on who you ask.

On top of that, have you recently looked at the prices of high quality/organic products? I know it’s a shitty excuse, but the reality is that not everyone can afford to get all their macros only from top tier products.

Just to be clear, I do think that getting the best quality food you can afford is a worthwhile investment as it will pay off in your well-being, health and energy levels that you can then convert into more money.

But if buying these products means that you can’t pay the rent or need to go into debt – it’s not worth it! At least in the short term.

A case AGAINST counting macros

At a certain level it is just a bunch of guesswork. At least initially.

I will assume that most of you reading this don’t live in a research lab to able to perfectly accurately count the nutrients of your every meal or how many calories you REALLY burn every day.

If you look at all the calculations we did today critically, you will realize that there are a lot of approximations and standardizations involved. I mean, claiming every male that weights 80 kg with 15% has an exact BMR of 1838.8 makes as much sense as saying that every person born on Oct 3rd, will have a “good day, with an unexpected opportunity” (yeah, I’m taking a jab at you, horoscopes!).

And the more calorie counting you do, the more you realize how imperfect this methodology is.

So if both of these strategies are very flawed, how come there are people, who successfully use them and look absolutely amazing?

The bottom line is that the strategies work. Especially if we combine them.

So when it comes to diet and this challenge to help you maximize attractiveness, here are my recommendations:

  1. Practice counting calories and aim for the numbers that you got from today’s calculator. On Day 6 I’ll explain you the method I used to leverage being lazy into making sure I get my macros on a daily basis.
  2. When you plan your meals (explained on Day 6), aim that most of your daily nutrients come from high quality, home cooked meals. Then feel free to fill the rest with whatever you please.
  3. Don’t get fooled by the “eat these 5 foods to get lean”, “avoid these 7 foods to gain muscle” and similar crappy click-bait articles. For the sake of this challenge, we’ll keep it very simple – if you cook the meal yourself and its not pure sugar, it should be pretty healthy. If you buy pre-made/frozen meals from discount stores, they are probably pretty damn bad for you.

Do this for 2 – 4 weeks and then course correct. The best way to deal with the imperfect calculations of your macros is to see how your body responds and course correct. Let’s say you want to lose some fat and you plan your meals, count your macros but in 2-4 weeks you see no results whatsoever. What you can do then, is stick with the overall strategy but consume ~50 – 100 kcals less a day and see if that changes your results another 2 – 4 weeks later.

Day 5

Focus: State Of Mind, Glow, Physique, Grooming

  1. Start the day with a tall glass of water. Have water at lunch and in the evening too.
  2. Morning skincare routine.
  3. 5 Minute Gratitude Routine.
  4. 10 Minute Meditation practice.
  5. Work out. Track Your Progress.
  6. Count your calories for the day (approx.)
  7. Investigate your manscaping needs. Schedule any necessary procedures. It’s a touchy subject for a lot of men, but when it comes to attractiveness, it’s something that we do need to talk about. Use this article for guidance.
  8. Still no porn.
  9. Good night’s sleep.

Intermittent Fasting. Or Why I Feel Like I’ll Never Get Fat Again

This is a completely optional strategy, that doesn’t directly make an impact on making you a more attractive man. That said, I would feel dishonest not to mention the dieting strategy that I personally consider the best life hack I ever came across (well, maybe only second to the gratitude routine).

I don’t eat breakfast. I eat big lunch and big dinner instead. I’ve been doing it for several years now and ever since I started practicing this variation of intermittent fasting (eat during an ~8 hour window, fast for 16 hours), I went from a person who passionately hated mornings to having mornings become my most productive part of the day. On most days I get twice as much done until noon, than during the rest of the day.

Also, it’s the reason why I don’t think I’ll ever get fat, even if I stop exercising. Because you only eat two meals a day, it’s really not that easy to consume enough kcals to be able to get fat.

So yeah, intermittent fasting is not part of the challenge but something that I passionately recommend. You can learn more about it here.

Day 6

Focus: State Of Mind, Glow, Physique

  1. Start the day with a tall glass of water. Have water at lunch and in the evening too.
  2. Morning skincare routine.
  3. 5 Minute Gratitude Routine.
  4. 10 Minute Meditation practice.
  5. Go for a walk (30 – 60 min).
  6. Plan your meals for next week. See the details below.
  7. Still no porn.
  8. Good night’s sleep.

Lazy Man’s Approach To Dieting – Meal Planning

The way I see it, the problem with dieting is that it often feels like a chore. Well that, and the taste.

So what I like to do, especially when starting a new diet plan, is to dedicate some time to plan my meals ahead of time and then forget about it. This way, the food you consume becomes a decision that you need to make only once or twice a week, instead of wasting your precious mental resources daily.

Also, when you plan your meals ahead of time, you can start with your favorite meals instead of eating chicken and broccoli twice a day. With a can of tuna for “snack”.

So how do we go about it?

  1. Make sure you have your daily macros ready. Use the calculator mentioned on Day Four, if you haven’t already.
  2. Decide how many meals you’ll be having a day during the next week. Personally, I eat two meals a day and that’s it. I generally split them 40/60 in terms of calories, with dinner being the bigger one. You can have as many or as few meals as you want and split them the way you prefer, as long as you get the macros you need.
  3. Think of your favorite meals and calculate the macros in them. The best way to start strong with a new diet is to eat the foods that you’d love to eat anyway. See if you can fit them into your plan.
  4. Fill the rest of the macros with any meals that fit within the requirements and that you would actually enjoy. The bottom line is, if you aren’t going to enjoy the food (and the diet), you’re not going to stick to it long term. It will be a drain on your life. So your best bet is to take some time to figure out how you can make it enjoyable. Be creative.

For example, when I first started GGP course I made massive gains while my torso only got leaner in the first 3 months. Why? Because I found a superbly easy way to stick to the diet by eating only my favorite foods – homemade burgers (with an occasionally chilly stew once a week or so). During my workout days, I also had extra calories to spare so I can have a few beers with friends.

Admittedly, after a couple of months or so it did lead to some unexpected issues as I wasn’t getting enough veggies, but in terms of physique, it worked tremendously.

So what food do you love (other than cake), that you could implement into your new diet plan?

  1. Don’t make the mistake I did, eat your veggies. Include some vegetables in your meal planning every day. You can ignore most veggies in your calorie calculations because you’d need to eat a literal bucket-load of them to make a significant difference. Certain veggies also have a significant effect on how our skin looks and we’ll talk more about it in Week 3.
  2. If you don’t cook some of your meals, try to approximate how many calories you might be consuming and leave some leeway in your meal planning. Not cooking your own meals introduces even more randomness to calorie calculations, but don’t worry about it for now. As we were calculating calories you’ve been consuming for several days now, you should be able to make a decent calculated guess how much leeway you should leave for yourself on that day or days.
  3. If you can, plan the meals you’ll be having for the whole next week. If not, two days should be the minimum for it to make sense.
  4. Repeat the process.

To address the elephant in the room – is meal planning a must to be attractive? No, but it helps. You do it once and it then frees up mental space that you can then dedicate to more worthwhile pursuits than trying to figure out what to have for dinner.

Day 7

Focus: State Of Mind, Glow, Physique

  1. Start the day with a tall glass of water. Have water at lunch and in the evening too.
  2. Morning skincare routine.
  3. 5 Minute Gratitude Routine.
  4. 10 Minute Meditation practice.
  5. Go for a walk (30 – 60 min).
  6. Get the groceries for the next few days / a week. Based on the meals you planned for yourself for the next week, get the groceries that you will require to make them. Again, we want to make starting a new habit as frictionless as possible to increase the odd of sticking to it. If possible, avoid going to the grocery store on an empty stomach as the temptation to get crappy but filling food can become overwhelming. If you want, you can semi-prepare some of your meals and freeze them so that on the day that you’ll be eating it there’s less work.
  7. Still no porn.
  8. Good night’s sleep.

Finishing Thoughts

As you saw, this week a lot of focus was dedicated to setting up our diet. Getting a better control over your diet is an extremely powerful habit that we can implement in our lives, as it will keep you from waking up one day, looking into the mirror and realizing “Ooops… I think I got fat…”

There’s also a lot of power in knowing that you have control over how you shape your physique. Sure, it will take time to lead to best results, but the time will pass anyway and the only difference is how you will look and feel once it does.

Another big habit that we started this week – meditation – will make sticking to other habits easier and by the end of the week you should start noticing that you’re feeling just… well… better on the whole. The world just seems like a nicer placer, doesn’t it?

Lastly, the fashion part…

I cannot describe how important it is that you take it seriously and get it right. At this point I’ve worked on this topic with enough guys to be certain, that as long as you don’t half-ass it, you will have a “holy shit!..” moment.

With that said, let me know what you think and I’ll see you on Week 3 of the challenge, where we’ll focus more on skin care, learn to address our insecurities and more.

Cheers,

Darius Belejevas

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