[of style] shirts” they will melt in the background of wannabe mediocrity. Those are not the men she wants and dreams about.
No, these nice guys don’t even stand a chance compared to a sexy man, one that captivates her imagination from the first glance as he’s not afraid to stand out – “who is that guy?..”
Oh, you sweet, sweet girl – you have no idea. Not yet…
How To Stop Dressing Like A Nice Guy
I recently read the book “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Robert A. Glover. It was long overdue as it’s one of those classic books when it comes to helping men become more assertive and attractive.
Glover describes common characteristic of nice guys as:
“They all believe that if they are “good” and do everything “right,” they will be loved, get their needs met, and have a problem-free life. This attempt to be good typically involves trying to eliminate or hide certain things about themselves (their mistakes, needs, emotions) and become what they believe others want them to be (generous, helpful, peaceful, etc.).”
Or, in other words, desperate need to please everyone in order to avoid conflict or any sort of disapproval.
Not surprisingly, most of these men have trouble with sexuality and women – oh, don’t misunderstand me, most women will like having guys like that in their lives. You know, when they need a shoulder to cry on or help to move, it’s just that nice guys like that are kind of sexually repulsive, unfuckable to sexual women.
If you ever found yourself unwillingly in the “friend zone” or heard “Ohh… you’re such a great guy, some lady will be lucky to have you one day (but it won’t be me)” you might be falling into this trap.
What’s particularly fascinating to me is how this transitions to their image, style:
- Nice guys will always dress safe, conservative – they can’t stand the thought that someone will think their look is inappropriate.
Tucked in polo shirts – helping women identify guys who will tell them how great they are, carry their bags and buy them drinks without getting anywhere since… Forever?
- You will also often find nice guys copying other men, often those, whose approval they seek, in terms of style. As a result it’s not uncommon to see groups of guys dressed and groomed nearly identically.
- Their outfits will always be very “average” so it’s easier to melt in the crowd, stay unnoticed.
- Even when they do try to “stand out”, they will do it in socially pre-approved ways that don’t present them as sexual men: “going out” shirts, business casual attires for corporate men, tees with random graphics (like numbers and letters that don’t really mean anything) for younger guys or simply generic crap like in the illustration here.
- Not sure why, but I’m yet to meet a nice guy wearing cool/sexy shoes – their shoes always suck!
- Even though there’s a trend that savvier nice guys are learning to dress better (because they expect to get approval from their colleagues, friends, bosses by doing so), still as a general rule of thumb, most nice guys don’t invest into their appearance and never learn to dress to look attractive.
The problem is, nice guys tend to put the needs and wants of others before his own, hoping that if he do a “good enough” job for “long enough”, people will go out of their way to meet his needs. They believe that “women should be attracted to me for who I am, because I’m such a great guy!” not realizing that even a carrot has more sex appeal than they do.
I’m sure you understand how backwards this logic is – instead of addressing their wants and needs directly, they take the “passive aggressive” route and then get pissed or frustrated when people don’t respond.
So how to stop dressing like a nice guy? Easy:
- First and foremost handle the fundamentals: fit, colors, layering, cuts, pick clothes that look flattering on your physique, get rid of ugly clothes, etc.
- Your outfit, your image should be reflection of who you are, your personality, your life, the way you carry yourself. It should have character!
- As a result, your image will be polarizing, some people will love it and others will say its tacky/lame/inappropriate/etc. And that’s great as you can instantly screen people (both men and women) off, who have no business being in your life.
To learn the details on how to achieve these points and learn to dress sexy, see “Nerdy To Sexy”.
Now, the reason this Style Inspiration is inspired by “No More Mr. Nice Guy” book because one of the recommended treatments for the nice guy syndrome is cultivating yourself:
“Taking Good Care of the Self Helps Nice Guys Learn To Approve Of Themselves”
Among many options, good care here stands for:
- Hitting the gym, improving your diet.
- Getting a stylish hairstyle, getting your facial hair professionally groomed.
- Learn to dress sexy and treat yourself to clothes that make you feel like a freaking badass.
- Working on your movements, posture.
- Finding and immersing yourself into hobbies you’re passionate about.
In other words, mold yourself into a man that YOU want to be.
And so, to help you treat yourself, I have prepared a very special Style Inspiration today – unapologetically masculine, badass to the bone and extremely sexy. It’s polarizing, stylish and it WILL piss nice guys off as they will watch you with jealousy and admiration as the women won’t be able to get their eyes off of you.
Note: usually in Style Inspiration articles I will create a romanticized story for every look, that describes how the type of man wearing that outfit carries himself, acts and very much how women get swept away by him, all from a 3rd person POV. HOWEVER, in the spirit of the theme I will try something else this time…
As I’m getting ready to head out I pick up my phone – there are several notifications from Tinder. Match, match, message, message, message… Oh, you pretty girls, sorry but I’m doing my own thing today, you’ll have to wait your turn.
I’m not in a mood for anything elaborate today so I pick up my favorite pair of ripped jeans, a tight V-neck from the top of the pile and put them on. I look in the mirror – yup, looking good! Now let’s see…
I put on my suede Chelsea boots and pick a few accessories. First, my hand almost automatically picks up the watch, lately forgetting to wear it feels like forgetting a wallet or phone – just weird. Then a necklace, because well, who are we kidding that bad boy is freaking awesome!
Just before I go out I pick up my coat, sunglasses and scarf just in case this afternoon gets crazy and I end up staying late. Again.
Last quick glance in mirror…
I can’t help myself and smile as a single thought crosses my mind “this is going to be easy!”
Time to hit the streets…
Sometimes brilliance is in simplicity (and details). This outfit is a perfect example of that – we take a very non-demanding combination – tee, jeans, boots – add a coat, few accessories, choose the right designs, cuts and colors and we have a look that will have women stealing glances, wondering who’s that guy?.. The style itself has an aura of nonchalance and sex appeal of a sex god reincarnate. Effortless yet stylish.
- Overcoat – the key piece in this outfit. We’re looking for something tan/light brown in a cut that’s cut close to the body around the arms. Slim fit would look more impressive in general, but because of how we’ll wear it regular cut will do the job too. Important: this look works best (by a large margin) when the coat is worn unbuttoned.
- Tee – simple white V-neck cut close to the body.
- Jeans – ideal pair would blue jeans in light wash and rips around the knees but other options (just light wash or serious distressing) are viable too. Just make sure it’s slim/skinny fit. Avoid super/extreme skinny unless you can find a coat that’s cut equally tight, otherwise your legs will be sticking out.
- Chelsea – brown suede Chelsea boots. In this particular example note the blue patterned area – details like that look ridiculously sexy when combined with other blue items (jeans, scarf).
- Necklace – black leather necklace, with a simple, slick pendant. When the outfit is worn without a scarf you can wear the necklace outside the tee. Otherwise keep it beneath.
- Watch – stainless steel watch. Don’t overthink this, most designs will do the job.
- Sunglasses – wayfarer or aviator sunglasses. No, you don’t need to spend a fortune on sunglasses.
- Scarf (Optional) – optional for slightly colder weather or those windy days.
Best suited for:
- Day time. The outfit is rather simplistic when the coat comes off. Still very viable for nights if you have a solid physique.
- Lean – fit men. Not so great for chubbier lads.
- Overcoat goes best with taller men. Shorter guys should replace it with a pea coat.
- Works with most personality types.
No Rest For The Wicked
It’s getting late but my head is still spinning from last night – I remember a girl, I think she was pulling me to the bathroom… What did I do exactly?.. Oh, who cares! Another one bites the dust I guess.
I look at the clock – fuck, it seems I’m going to be fashionably late again. Ah, might as well take a shower and clean myself up, I know there will be sexy ladies there and I’m feeling horny tonight. Well… it’s either horny or hungover, sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.
Oh… sweet jesus… fuck yeah! Feeling like a new man now! Ok but seriously, the phone will start to explode if I don’t get there soon. Do I have any clean tees left?
Wait, how is my white V-neck still neatly folded – it’s my lucky day! I put on my black jeans, nice and tight. I grab the accessories before going for my sneakers.
I take good care of my sneakers and even after all this time they are still in pristine condition – I mean a man has to have standards!
*After realizing that my last night’s clothes are still laying all over the room*
Ok, some standards, no need to get all pedantic and shit.
Time for coupe de grace – the leather jacket!
Am I hot or HOT?
Alright fuckers, ready or not, here I come!
..wait, where’s my wallet?..
A look so cool, it could give James Dean a run for his money (well, could have…). We’re taking a standard edgy rock star look and giving it a chill, laidback vibe. We’re taking away converse/boots and replacing them with black and white sneakers and also replacing a graphic tee or an aggressive scoop neck for a plain white V-neck, making it more versatile and suitable for more than just rock bars. Lastly, by picking a watch instead of a bracelet or wristband, we’re making it less boy-ish.
- Leather jacket – cool black biker leather jacket, do I need to say more?
- Tee – simple white V-neck. Long cuts are also possible but not necessary.
- Jeans – black, washed skinny jeans. Distressing / rips are optional.
- Sneakers – white sneakers with black stripes. The part that creates contrast in styles for this look and overall makes it more playful, cool. Keep it simple and don’t go wearing running shoes or whatever.
- Watch – we’re going for watch instead of bracelet to once again restrain the “rock star” vibe this look has going for it. Stainless steel – don’t overthink it.
- Rings – a couple of rings worn on the same hand but not the one you’ll be wearing your watch on.
- Belt – black leather belt with some studding. Don’t go overboard and get a full studded belt as if you’re going to a metal concert but also avoid clean, smart-looking belts – this look is not for business lunches.
- Scarf (Optional) – mostly for those situations where you need to protect your neck but also a good spot to introduce some patterns to the look.
Best Suited For:
- Night time, bars and clubs (rock / indie / metal).
- Skinny – lean – fit guys. Not great for chubbier lads.
- Great for both taller and shorter guys.
- Best for outgoing, younger guys (20s, early 30s), who don’t take themselves too seriously and can own an edgier look.
“Look, princess, you know who I am, you know how I live and you know I ain’t planning to change. If you think that’s what you want, go for it. I’m sure he’s a great guy. And after all, you know how to reach me in case you want to check how comfy my bed is again. Anyway, got to go. Cheers!”
I hang up the phone.
What’s up with those calls, did she really thought she can persuade me? Haha! Just send a damn message and be done with it, it’s not the 90s anymore.
I finish my writing and close the laptop – time to go, I promised to meet those girls at the bar tonight.
As I routinely go through my getting ready routine I find myself thinking about my life… I put on distressed jeans and a grey tee.
Can you believe that only a few years ago I would wake up every morning, clean shave, put on a suit and for the next eight or nine hours pretend to care about the most pointless shit you could imagine just to get a pat on the back by some guy, whose supposed to be my boss… I put on my denim shirt, nonchalantly close couple of the bottom buttons and tuck in one side so that the belt is visible.
I take a quick glance at the mirror as I’m going for my boots – hah, I wonder what HR reps would say about this scruffy beard.
I put on a ring and a bracelet. Fuck watches! It’s for people who don’t own their time. As the nights been getting colder I put on my scarf and coat. One last check up with the mirror – life’s good!
This just might be my favorite style inspiration look I’ve ever made. The look itself can be a bit difficult to execute and probably not the best option for newbies (there are quite a few places that it can go wrong), but damn… When you do it right it’s the epitome of masculine ruggedness in the most stylish way possible. Devil-may-care attitude, mature bad boy vibe, rugged and masculine with just a hint of elegance in the mix – it has it all.
- Overcoat – minimalistic grey wool overcoat. Medium-length.
- Jeans – slim fit jeans with medium wash and distressing. We do want it to be rugged and masculine for this look.
- Boots – rugged, worn combat boots. In black or grey.
- Tee – simple, grey tee that’s cut close to the body.
- Shirt – denim shirt in medium-blue wash. Ideally, slim cut. Important part is how to wear it. Usually you would wear denim shirts unbuttoned but not for this look. Close bottom three buttons and tuck one side of the shirt into the jeans. Upper part of the shirt should be kept unbuttoned.
- Scarf – till now the look has been a bit dark and colorless. With the scarf with break the pattern and introduce new, brighter color to the look (don’t go overboard with the “brighter” part, it should still be restrained and ideally within a patterned fabric).
- Belt – simple, rugged leather belt.
- Bracelet – for hand accessories we want something simple, sizeable (a wristband could be solid option too), but not too “polished” – it should still have that worn look to it.
- Ring – a ring or two to complete the look, don’t go for anything flashy.
Best Suited For:
- Day time, night time, bars and clubs (not mainstream).
- Works well with all physiques, especially great for skinny men, who need to look more muscular.
- Great for both taller and shorter guys (shorter guys should pick pea coat instead of an overcoat).
- Will work with most personality types but I’d recommend avoiding it for men, who tend to look very young.
Oh, I’m Good. Really Good.
I look around my bedroom: condoms? Check. New sheets? Check. I like to be prepared when I’m bringing a new woman home and in about… let’s see… about two hours, I will be bringing one here.
The plan is simple: meet up near my place, glass of wine in a bar, then invite her to continue the evening at my place.
Now to make sure that this plan works, time to get dressed.
I already showered and styled my hair so I go straight for my indigo jeans and grab my black shirt. I keep three buttons open on the shirt as I tuck it in.
With the music playing in the background it feels like one of those days when you cannot lose.
I pick my waistcoat and put it on. I’m starring at the mirror as I’m buttoning it and my mind starts wondering… very soon she will be unbuttoning it again, playing with the buttons as she does. I wonder, what dress will she be wearing tonight? I imagine slowly sliding my hand between her naked thighs… It’s going to be a fun night.
I put on a watch, it’s simple yet elegant – just the right look for this occasion. Blazer comes next and the look is nearly complete.
At this point I don’t even need to look at the mirror, I know I look great. And yet, I feel like really killing it tonight so instead of usual dress shoes I put on my red and black boots.
The phone rings to notify me about a message:
“You know, it feels a little cold outside. Though it might be because I’m not wearing any panties 😉 Can’t wait to see you.”
Our last look for this Style Inspiration, but definitely not least. This look is here to show that you don’t necessarily need to dress particularly edgy to look stunningly hot. It’s also here to show you that you can look presentable, respectable and being overall well-dressed without looking boring or lame – sometimes it really takes just one, well-chosen detail to transform your image and the qualities that it conveys. We’re purposefully building an outfit that’s restrained up until the point where you go “screw this shit! I’m being awesome instead!”
- Blazer – a thicker (cotton/wool), grey blazer in slim cut, short cut preferred unless you’re really tall. A subtle pattern is also preferred for this look but not necessary.
- Waistcoat – nice and tight waistcoat in check. Should also have grey as a dominating color.
- Shirt – black, smart buttoned shirt. Worn tucked in.
- Jeans – navy/indigo jeans in slim/skinny cut, with a subtle wash. No distressing, rips or damage.
- Belt – smart leather belt in black.
- Watch – classic watch with a black, leather strap. Stainless steel could also work, or if you’re not a watch guy, can be replaced with a slick black bracelet with some stainless steel detailing.
- Boots – now up to this point you mind be wondering, “but Darius, this kinda looks bland just and boring, when is the sexy part coming up?”. Well, here it is – red and black boots in a semi-dressy design. It’s the item that takes an otherwise common, well-dressed look and makes it “holy shit, that’s hot!”
Best Suited For:
- Day time, night time, bars and clubs (might be too overdressed for rock/indie bars).
- Works well with all physiques. Waistcoat helps manage extra “love” on chubbier guys.
- Great for both taller and shorter guys.
- Not suitable for “party animals” and would work best on more mature men.
Another new tradition with this Style Inspiration is that I’d love to hear which of the look you liked the most? (You can share Why in the comments below)
And as always, if you’re not sure how to pull it off, will a particular look suit your unique situation and will correctly represent you as a man, heck even if you don’t feel like a sexy man just yet – I’m here to help!
Enough with trying to please and appeal to everyone! Enough with looking boring! Enough with dressing like a nice guy!